A Blue Couch, Silver Keys and a Gold Piece of Whatever

1 September 2022

 

Ikea demands of its customers/victims both love and hate.  Take for example the blue couch. The most recent thing we got from Ikea was “the” blue couch.  It has some storge under it and it pulls out into a bed for visitors.  Like most things Ikea in comes in parts, a fair but not unwieldly number of parts.  The key factor at Ikea however is price.  You know that.  I know that. We love the price.  We hate what follows.

 

When you buy something from Ikea the model has been expertly set up.  All the parts are sure to have been milled to the right tolerances. If one doesn’t quite fit you can be assured that Joao can call Sven in the backroom and get a replacement part asap. The staff doing set up in-store use electric tools and have flunkies who lift and twist the item exactly the way it is shown in the pictographic instructions.  When you ask the sales rep, “How long does it take to assemble?”, he or she says (they appear quite committed to parity in sales staff), “Oh twenty or thirty minutes.”  What they leave off is that part that says, “If you are a highly toned underemployed mechanical engineer”.

 

I loved Legos as a kid.  On the Iowa Skills Test I always got the folding the boxes section 100% right, always.  I live with an engineer.  How hard could this be? Insert echoing cosmic laughter here.

 

Well, assembling the blue couch had its moments.  For fabric, batting and light colored wood, it was heavy. On top of that the couch had to be tilted on its side several times to accomplish the tasks assigned.  Again, I live with two big men so it was doable. But what drove me crazy was installing one long thick bolt that held the back of the couch to the seat of the couch.  There were four of these, two on the left, one on the center and one on the right.  The left and right ones went it without a hitch. The center one not so much. Seemingly the bolt would go in and start to thread into the approved slot and then just spin.

 

Apparently, and definitely not in the pictograms, this bolt was the prime bolt and had to go in first.  It took loosening the other three bolts and using a cardboard shim to elevate one side of the project to allow the bolt to catch and go in.  Every single freakin’ project from Ikea is like this.  There is always a hidden thing you have to do to get the bits and bobs to align. Twenty minutes of estimated set-up time was for an overweight, old, humanities orient retired ALJ nigh onto three hours to finish.  Sigh.

 

Did I mention this place is not air conditioned?  After I let the sweat dry, I made it my goal to get my Portuguese phone number up and running.  This would require me to go to MEO one of the providers of internet/cable/phone in the country. MEO has various sales offices everywhere. No worries my trusty app said there was a shop five minutes’ walk from here.  Don’t get me started on the five minute’s walk thing.  If Lisbon were perfectly flat it would be five minutes’ walk.  Lisbon I can say with certainty is not perfectly flat. Off I went for the five-minute walk.

 

Why did I have to go to MEO?  Two things.  First, I didn’t have a tool that would open the sim slot on my iPhone 12Max or whatever it is called.  Second, I wanted to know the fee structure for using my phone for international texting.  I didn’t really get an answer for the second one except that the sales rep kept saying, very expensive.  However, all the MEO reps have that little piece of wire to pop open the iPhone and the SIM was quickly placed in my phone.  

 

The serendipity bit was that the store we went to was next to a very neat/cool looking building with lots of frill and gimgacks and gogaws to ah and oh at.  And this building was right next to the Piscoas metro stop which for all the world looks like one of Paris’s art deco metro stops.  More aahing and oohing.

The keys thing was a truly typical Portuguese urban moment.  We had one key for four people.  I had inquired of our landlady about how to get extra keys.  She directed me to a shop several blocks away.  Thirty-six dollars later I had four new keys.  However, at 10 pm (22:00) a knock on our interior door came and a young woman was standing outside.  She did not identify herself but she handed up about fifty loose keys and said, “These are yours”.  There were multiple keys to the apartment, to a second entrance to the apartment, to our mailbox and to a couple of other things I have not figured out yet.  Yep, it was that kind of moment.  I am kind of thinking she was some kind of phantom because upon handing us this mound of shaped metal she was gone.

Oh yeah to insure I don’t blow my heart out I bought an American style coffee maker and some decaf coffee.  I have tried ordering decaf espressos and I think about 50% of the time that just say to hell with it and make me a regular.  I can tell it is regular when my fingers start tapping the table after my second sip.  If I drink it all my whole body become a techno rhythm section.

 

And that is all I have time for this morning.

Been Traveling

 

31 August 2022 (Near Saldahna Metro Lisboa)

 

Finally, a moment which might be called near normal has arrived.  Been in Lisboa for 9 days now. Our time has been nonstop running, spending, waiting, etc.  Each night we have gone to bed exhausted.  When we awoke, we were still tired. Jet lag encompassed the first few days. Things are improving. 

 

We are familiars with Ikea and Buy/Sell/Trade Lisbon.  Last Saturday the hotel rooms paid for with points ran out.  Luckily the beds had arrived at the apartmento.  Yesterday the washing machine and the refrigerator got here.  Watching the delivery person carry the washing machine up two flights of stairs on his back was impressive.  Now that the refrigerator is here days will pass without dining out.  Yeah, the wallet rejoices.  Today our first chair arrives, a sofa sleeper.  It will be nice to sit in a chair.

 

Takes a bit of time to get used to the cycle of life here.  I have been awake for an hour and a half and the city is just beginning to move. This computer on which I am pounding away is on my back deck which is totally in shade. The shade won’t last. 67 F with the merest hint of a breeze.  By midday the deck will no longer be shaded and these bricks the landlord has laid down will heat up like bricks in a wood stove. As God is my witness you will be able to fry and egg out here.  

 

The deck right now is great for writing.  By midday it will be more than great for drying clothing on the line. When 7 pm comes it will be comfortable to be back out here.  Going to have to pick up an umbrella and a base. Need to expand the time we can be out here.

 

The pulse of business seems to start between 9”30. The subways and buses are crowded then and most commercial establishments open at ten.  Except for the malls (and there are only a couple of them really) most businesses close down at eight.  Dinner hour is roughly 7 pm to 10 pm and it is assumed you will be spending an hour or more at the table.  

 

I do not think that I would say I love the neighborhood.  Alternatively, I would say I really like the neighborhood.  So many restaurants, shops, easy access to transport make it a wonderful place to be. Being under the airport flight path where the plans fly so low you can count the bolts on the belly of the fuselage is not as enticing.  But hey, I doubt there is any place in Lisbon where that is not the case. Plenty of parks, plenty of culture and lots to explore.

 

Oh well, I have to go get some keys made.  Life goes on.

 

 

The Weather Has Broken Today (Perhaps the Darkness Will Too)

 

Amazingly the humidity has disappeared from the air this early morning. Temperatures as I set out have dropped a good 15° from what they were yesterday. Walking in short sleeves and nylon shorts the first 100 yards of striding are crisp. 

 

August is traditionally Michigan’s transitional weather. Often fall creeps in shortly after the 20th. Cool mornings, mild days and the hints of leaves ready to change color were common in years past.  Not so much recently; real summer warmth has lately been lingering until after Labor Day. I won’t be here to see which is true of August this year.

 

Spent time yesterday online rearranging some details of my airline tickets to Europe. With the kafuffle that is air travel this year, each segment of my flight has changed several times. With each change in departure time or routing the airline has unilaterally imposed new seat assignments. Grabbing decent seats with less than two weeks remaining before I travel is not a pleasant experience. Everything I read says nothing about flying this year is pleasant. I note my family’s ultimate destinations airport will be suffering the effects from a two-day general strike when we get there. Sigh. Repeat after me, “I am one with the universe”.

 

It doesn’t take long to feel comfortable walking in this cooler weather. ‘Tis a moment of joy after days and days of oppressive heat and humidity. I don’t believe I’ve ever experienced such a long a stretch of both high temperatures and high humidity in Michigan. Floods, fires and heat waves are engulfing the world. Gaia seems to be working through some not so pleasant changes. Climate scientist say these various extreme weather phenomena are the signs of a rapidly warming planet. The changes are not over, they are accelerating. We need to take action to mitigate what is happening. At least I believe so.

 

After more than two and 1/3 years COVID-19 made its way into our house. The youngest brought the disease home from his workplace. Luckily, he had been vaccinated and boosted. His symptoms were similar to those of a bad cold or a mild flu. A very strict isolation was enforced. After five days of isolation no one else tested positive in the household. After eight days he is testing negative now and will return to work today. It will be just in time to give his two weeks’ notice.

 

My son’s Covid case will not show up in any federal database. I am assuming that he like millions upon millions of other Americans have self-tested at home and then not reported positive numbers to a health department or the CDC. I would guess very large portion of our population has now had the disease; a number far greater than has even been estimated. The pandemic is not over. At least we have antivirals and other medications to ameliorate much of the devastating consequences of the disease. But there is always the next variant… I plan to keep wearing my mask in larger group settings.

 

An additional note, the land around me is green again. What broke the hot and humid weather was a series of thunder and rain storms. Never felt so happy to feel drops of rain on my face. Michigan looks good in green.

 

A final note.  48 years ago this day, I travelled to the old Atlantic City Raceway to see a triple bill.  I believe the opening act was Jesse Colin Young.  Santana came on next and finally Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young took the stage.  The day was momentous because President Richard M. Nixon’s resignation became official. The crowd was ebullient because a dark cloud over our democracy was lifting. I was there with Larry Dougherty, Kathy Logiovino, and Dot Huber. We endured rain and lightning to get to that moment at the end of the concert when CSN&Y broke out an incredible version of Ohio.  50,000 people were singing at the top of their lungs, “Four Dead in Ohio,” again and again. It was a hymn; it was an exclamation mark marking the end of years of darkness.  Now if only the Florida raid is the dot drawn first at the bottom of a soon to be finished exclamation mark marking the end of another era of darkness.

As I go out walking.

Haven't posted in a bit.  Guess it is time.

 

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but here in my little enclave of humanity, traffic has never returned to pre-pandemic levels. The flow of cars and trucks is up to about 2/3 of what it used to be on a business day. I’m OK with that. Seeing the lessened number of cars whiz by on Saginaw Avenue, a five-lane wide affair (two each way with a turn lane), I wonder if this diminishment is a true shift in the paradigm of work? Have those 1/3 of the cars stopped traveling to and fro because their drivers are now working from home? Cutting the gas expended and the wear and tear on the infrastructure would be a good thing, good for the drivers, good for the environment.

 

I mention the lessened traffic because I have noticed the decrease as I head out for my morning walk. Sort of like the reduced number of cars I have returned to a reduced morning walk.  I am taking in about 2/3 of my pre-pandemic walk. My walking pace is constant, about 3 mph. Before the pandemic I would walk for 45 to 50 minutes. These days I’m walking 30 to 35 minutes. It just feels more comfortable.  Yes, I put on some pandemic weight.  Yes, I had some of the pandemic blues.  But on the plus side, this morning I am walking a little faster than usual. Checking the radar on my weather app before I stepped out of the house, I noticed a huge orange blob just slightly north and west of where I live. Kind of implies a strong storm is coming. God knows we can use the rain. Still, I’d like to be back in the house before it gets here.

 

Personally, I have not really done a deep dive on yesterday’s primaries. However, it seems clear that some election deniers did win their primary races. About the best news was the Kansas vote on abortion, roughly 60% to 40% in favor of leaving abortion a constitutional right in Kansas. I find that a pretty amazing number. Given Kansas’s conservative nature, the result probably should give the Republicans nationwide pause on their efforts to outlaw abortion and to put women back in the 1950s. I frequently shake my head wondering what has brought us to this point.

 

Some of the bright blossoms of summer are fading into the dusty dusky colors of fall. Still much of the vibrancy of the season is on display. One of the best things about walking in the morning is to see these plants and their flowers awash with bright yellows, reds and pinks. The explosion of color gives me an emotional up for the beginning of my day. I so love the flowers rebound everywhere in my neighborhood.

 

One way or another I’ll be leaving this neighborhood in about two weeks. I’ll either be going to Portugal with a visa or without. My hope is that the mail brings the documents I need for a longer stay overseas. No guarantees in life. No easy fixes for anything. Take a moment.  Enjoy the flowers.

 

We Need Them

This was written a few years ago.  But for some reason the great social media platform has deemed my old blog offensive.  In order to share this with a friend I am reposting here.  Stuff in the piece remains true.

 

We Need Them as Much as They Need Us

 

The sun hangs longer in our western sky at this time of year. Longer daylight hours are a good thing. With the school year coming to an end our family is rushing from one child’s teenage event to another. Sometimes I wonder when it will ever end. But I know that day will come too soon. 

 

As I dash from one meeting to another, I sometimes learn something. During the prior evening sandwiched somewhere between a Vito sub at Jimmy John’s and picking up the Moose from Elevation Hockey, Taking Your Game to the Next Level training I learned some facts about the Autism Spectrum that surprised me.

 

In a space between events last night, I went to a meeting with a local autism awareness group. The speaker talked about a program designed to deal with and develop social skill strategies needed by people with Aspergers in maintaining normal ritualized social contact. The nuances of the handshake, the use of greetings, the negotiations of where to go to lunch that invariably come in the workplace are things this group tries to provide guidance and training on. 

 

According to the speaker only about 12 % of the people on the spectrum maintain full time employment. He gave a citation but I didn’t write it down. Other statistics about abuse physical and financial were even more disheartening. In the conversation about employment the speaker indicated the issue for a person like my son who has Aspergers was not the ability to perform the work. ASD people apparently work very well at job tasks. The problems come up for people on the spectrum in transportation to/from work (and movement around the facility) and with dealing with the required social contacts in the workplace. 

 

Neurotypical people don’t deal very well with the manifestations of ASD such as the lack of initiation of eye and other social contact. Conversations can die on the vine with persons on the spectrum. Having an interaction just peter out frustrates “normal” people and they become dissuaded from attempting further contact even on important and meaningful issues. This inability of the general population to be adaptive may become a major problem as time goes on because the spectrum population is growing. 

 

According to the speaker 1 in every 54 boys in America is now falling somewhere on the spectrum. I have seen a statistic that in South Korea the rate is approaching 2.6 % of the juvenile population. To quote from the New York Times, “Among the children with autism spectrum disorder in regular schools, only 16 percent were intellectually disabled, more than two-thirds had a milder form of autism, and the ratio of boys to girls was unusually low: 2.5 to 1. In addition, 12 percent of these children had a superior I.Q. — a higher proportion than found in the general population.” Wallis, Study in Korea Puts Autism’s Prevalence at 2.6%, Surprising Experts May 9, 2011.

 

What we need are not just programs for persons on the spectrum teaching them how to pass themselves off as “ok” in a neurotypical world. We also need programs for employers and managers in all size level of companies on how to adapt to and accommodate ASD workers. We need training for staff in the workplace about respecting the differences that ASD persons have in how they approach social contact and work performance.

 

 Just looking at a business perspective I don’t think we can ignore 2% of our potential workforce if we want to stay competitive. Especially given that the level of higher IQ in this group is greater than in the general population. We will be throwing away/wasting a great deal of talent for innovation if we don’t come to terms with this growing group.

 

[I have used the term neurotypical a number of times here. I also know I have used it in prior posts. Just to be clear this is what the words current usage seems to mean and I am quoting Wikipedia, “Neurotypical (or NT) is a term that was coined in the autistic community as a label for people who are not on the autism spectrum: specifically, neurotypical people have neurological development and states that are consistent with what most people would perceive as normal, particularly with respect to their ability to process linguistic information and social cues.]

 

 

 

Afterward.

 

Since I wrote this article 10 years ago to the day, my son has graduated university.  He has a BS in engineering.  He is full time employed at a telecom company and he engages in meetings multiple times a day.  Working from home has proved a boon for him.  Zoom meetings and the use of Teams have allowed him both the connection he needs to work collaboratively and the isolation he needs to lessen angst and agitation. Some companies seem to get it.

 

A final note.  My son was not diagnosed until he was in middle school.  But several of his teachers seemed to have been aware of his focused abilities.  One math teacher in fifth grade told him, “You are good at math.  You know who uses math?  Engineers.”  From that day on he was pretty much determined to become an engineer. Remember it can be the small things that alter a life's direction.

On Painting Metal Chairs

The Day

Air conditioners are humming. Every house up and down the block has a mechanical whir completely idiosyncratic and wholly identifiable. Today humanity’s faux weather machines barely keep up with nature’s passion for the warm and sultry.

Cars and trucks roll by. Loud exhausts and grinding gears provide the bass rhythm. The birds on this green plot, and those in the next yard, and the yard after that, tweet and trill and whistle in descending circular melodies. Their songs along with the noise from a moderate breeze now shaking verdant leaves on ancient trees are the melody and harmony of today’s unique, one night only, symphony performed in an American suburban backyard.  

Yellow

Solitary yellow chair, quite bright and new this day. 95 Fahrenheit so I sit in the shade and not in the still drying yellow chair. When dry from a full can of Rustoleum, the yellow chair will be a beacon marking each day’s transition from midday to midnight.  We need a constant point like the yellow chair to fix our gaze on and keep us anchored to the here and now. It is a visual prayer for awareness, compassion, and understanding. No fears, no anger, just wakefulness to a world that surrounds us and holds us close.

Red

Who should sit in the red chair? Not a timid person. Not a person who doubts their every action. No, the red chair belongs to someone who feels a burning desire to claim it. To properly take a seat upon the red chair one must be filled with passion and vitality. The red chair looks forward with no regret for the past. The red chair demands you look beyond the horizon for what wonders will come next. Perhaps, the red chair belongs to you.

Green

The green chair asks not who should sit in it but when one should sit in it.  The color of summer leaves at peak green, this chair is a mechanism of mystical transport.  The green chair must be used when an escape from the same old same old is demanded. One sitting in this chair may visit the hills of Ireland, the fields of Brittany, the forests of British Columbia or just maybe the vineyards of the Douro River valley all without twitching muscle or scanning a boarding pass. When you sit in the green chair and close your eyes your spirit is free to fly to wherever and whenever it is that brings you to joy, to those places which elicit a gentle smile.

Blue

So blue, so dark, almost a capture of the essence of late evening, the blue chair is for those needing solitude.  Capturing the spirit of early night’s peace, this chair is for those who are tired, who ache, who need a refreshing drink of ice-cold water to revive their wearied souls. The blue chair does not demand, instead it accepts and comforts. Worries and fears, apprehensions and suspicions are banned from the minds of the blue chairs occupants. The blue chair is clear water in a river flowing to an infinite and endless calm sea.

Take a seat my friend.

My Oatmeal was Lumpy Today

Darkness and light, pleasure and pain, we often see our world in terms of these stark dichotomies. Still, most of our lives are lived in a mundane shambolic swirl.  But the past week has been dark, painful and unremittingly hard to bear. From the massacre in Texas to the impending demise of Roe to the barbaric war in Ukraine there is nary a good word on the airwaves to be had.  

 

When I stop and ingest the news it overwhelms me.  Not kidding at all about this.  By the time I read the news summaries from the news e-mails I get in the morning, WaPo, Bridge and AP I can actually feel the tension in my shoulders starting to cause muscle ache and an acidy churning in my gut starting. Not going to get into all my feelings here but if you fall on the Ted Cruz side of the weapons debate, or Justice Alito’s take on Roe just unfriend me now.

 

The only thing that has kept me from being overwhelmed is that I have other things I have been working on, and working intensely on. Just because I have not been writing much for the blog in recent days, doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing.  Seriously, I have been writing lots and lots of stuff. Mostly I have been drafting and organizing a visa application for a long term stay outside these very divided United States. One thing about putting together the application, it kept me from falling headfirst into the news.  

 

On Wednesday morning Francie and I put in our residency applications to VFS.  VFS is a third party that does a pre-screen of visa applications for the Portuguese government.  A great deal of the process was collecting financials and other important documents.  Had to send a criminal history check from the FBI that had been apostilled.  Had to send an authorization in English and Portuguese for the Portuguese police to do a criminal history check on me.  Had to send passport pictures, passport ID page pictures (notarized), and beaucoup financial documents. 

 

In addition to all those things I had to write up and send a statement saying “succinctly” why I wanted to live long term in Portugal.  What this really entails is drafting is a part biography, a part financial narrative and a part aspirational declaration.  My statement stayed away from things like “my country’s on a dark and dismal path”.  Also, I stayed away from the retrograde actions of our Supreme Court.  Furthermore, I stayed away from my fear of what happens at the midterms.  

 

Senhor Todd’s statements were mostly about really enjoying the people, the cuisine, and the culture of Portugal.  Without a question those things are true.  However, the two things I am really motivated by I just couldn’t put down.  How do you say politely, geez I turned left and my country turned hard right and that just won’t do for me in my remaining years? Also, it would be gauche to say beach town life can be much less expensive in Portugal that in the US of A. 

 

What finally got mailed was about a linear inch thick times two; one for Francie and one for me.  There will be two more, one for each of the boys but we are not there yet. Funny thing the biographical statement for the government was not the first one we had to create.  Back at the end of March/start of April we had to do some long-distance house hunting.  Our agent had us create a biography with financials at the end of it to present to prospective landlords. That essay covered everything from our childhood ER visits to our meet cute at MSU to our travels in Norway, England, France and Portugal.  I omitted a few things because who knows what might be found in, or end up in the Interpol database. 

 

Nothing is easy in this process and everything seems to be a moving target.  Whether we sent the materials in for a paper review or we headed in for a NYC consulate appointment, (note well there were no NYC appointments before August when I checked on May 2^nd), was and remains a source of consternation. (Consternation is one of those words my mother used often, I guess that in her case it substituted for profanity). We opted for the mail in route.  We will see how that goes.

 

No matter where I go, there I will be. I am committed to not letting the darkness overwhelm me no matter where I am residing.  I must be dedicated to bringing the light with me wherever I go, I have to be. At a concert years ago Billy Bragg one of my favorite musicians offered up the comment that, “Cynicism is the ultimate enemy of democracy”. I believe whole heartedly that he was right but I think he stopped short.  Cynicism is not only the ultimate enemy of democracy but it is the ultimate enemy of a living a good life. Governments and political philosophies will rise up but eventually they all fall. Nothing and I mean nothing precludes us from living a life of light except for our fears and prejudices.  Me, I think we all can move beyond those hinderances.  Share love and light in the weeks ahead my friends.

About the title of this post.  Last week FB 11 months after it was posted took down a post of mine for violating community standards.  I had not advocated for or against any political stance.  I didn't use any of the seven deadly words.  I am clueless unless a reader objected but there was no way to appeal the decision.  My wife read the piece and muttered this is boring, it is almost as if you were complaining about lumpy oatmeal.  Hence the title. 

I close with a song of light. Live in sunlit rooms my friends.