Icy Patterns on the Sidewalks

28 December 2020,

The first Monday morning after Christmas and I’m out for my walk. No surprise there.  ‘Tis a little bit tricky for the pedestrian. Yesterday the temperature warmed up a bit and all the snow cover on the roads and sidewalks melted. However, while it did warm up, it didn’t warm up a great deal. Thus, the melt water on the sidewalks did not evaporate. Today the sidewalks, especially the older greyer squares, have a mottled pattern with the darker portions being ice. Slipped a couple of times already. The ice is forcing me to walk on the berms or out in the street where the macadam is sufficiently warm to evaporate off the moisture.

 Christmas decorations are still up everywhere. Me, I’m guessing that they’re going to be up for several weeks after the start of the new year. People desperately need a little joy. Twinkling lights, wreaths, garlands and even inflatable Homer Simpson in a Santa suit covey some joy in this drear year.

 

I plan to do my whole traditional morning walk route this day. Foot after foot hitting the ground will take me up and down all through my neighborhood. Right now, it is taking me past the winter bound fen by the Glencairn school. Browns and grays, the colors of late December, prevail.

 

On an ancillary holiday note I did come up with one winning gift for one of my sons. I ordered heavy down comforters and covers for both my young men. The youngest has taking to using his like a cocoon sleeping bag. When I glance into his room all I can see is a few fingers of one hand curled up outside the top of the comforter. Ah the joy of being enveloped by the warmth of down on a cold winter’s day.

 

Not much on my podcasts this morning that wasn’t news at 8:30 last night. The President signed the relief bill. The man who blew up the RV in Asheville has been identified and looks to have been a lone wolf. Europe is rolling out the vaccines. For the most part these are all good bits of news. Nothing earth shaking in any of the stories but good news anyhow. For the world where it stands today any good news is a win.

Yeah, I have posted this link before but it is a perfect song for a grey Monday.

Boxing Day

 

A Christmas Day drive gone wrong for somebody. 

I saw this happen as I walked.

 

26 December 2020

 

No hangover this morning.  Truth be told I didn’t have a Christmas toast of hard liquor despite Santa’s gift of Lagavulin whiskey. Also, I didn’t eat that gummy I have.  Guess I have gotten too old for raucous Christmastide fun. Sitting at the keyboard on a grey morning listening to Ken Yates (an artist I stumbled across yesterday while sitting outside a Chinese restaurant waiting for takeout).  Hey Chinese food on Christmas, it is our holiday night tradition. Surviving is easy, living is hard.

 

The batteries for my hearing aids are in their warmup phase.  After you peel the backing off the batteries you have to wait two minutes before inserting them, this per the audiologist at Costco.  After I finish this paragraph, I will insert the tiny little buggers in the left and right units and put them on.  I am too old not to wear them.  I am too you to accept that I have to wear them.

 

As I look out the window, I see that all of the fluffy light snow from yesterday remains just where it was as the light of Christmas Day faded. It was good and cold yesterday. Last night was a down comforter up to the nose kind of night.  Still, despite the wind and the cold of yesterday I got my walk in.  261 days in a row now.  As I followed my serpentine path through the neighborhood, I only ran into the people who were walking for obligation. It was just me and the dog owners out there.  

 

Today I feel like making resolutions.  Seems to me if I make my resolutions now, they will have more meaning than if I create them on New Year’s Eve.  To me it seems that NYE resolutions are doomed to failure.  NYE resolutions are just another fleeting tradition like ham hocks and black-eyed peas on New Years Day.  They are transient one offs.  But maybe if I make my resolutions now, they will have more weight and come the 31^stI can check and see if I have even made a start at the changes I want to see.

 

But what should I resolve to do?

 

Eat better and in moderation is a resolution that never disappears.  But what else?  I know they say set goals (resolutions) that can be measured.  The omnipresent “they” also say set realistic goals, that is don’t shoot for the moon but rather for the top of that nearby small hill. I guess on the eating healthy thing I can set my goal to use with precision that weight watcher app on my phone.

 

But what else?

 

I will let you know tomorrow what I have opted for.

 

Christmas 2020

 

25 December 2020

  

Almost ten and neither of my sons is stirring.  There is a one-to-two-centimeter dusting of snow on the ground. My wife is engaging in her Christmas tradition of watching “Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence.”  The movie is a powerful one but it is really not a “Christmas” movie. But watching it is her tradition and thus I dug the Blu Ray disc out of a box of discs that were stuffed away in one of the great summer cleanings. 

 

Me I am sitting at my desk puttering away on my computer.  In a little bit I may go out and sweep a path through the dusting of snow that lies about outside.  As I remember it today was supposed to be seriously cold.  Going out will require layering, down vest, wind shell and good gloves. Oh yeah, a hat will be needed.

 

[break in writing]

 

Went outside and swept the snow off the circle drive and the sidewalk. Total time involved was about twenty minutes.  The air was crisp and clear and the temperature cold, but not bitterly so. Felt good to be doing work.  While I had no office Christmas gatherings last night (or the week prior), we did do our family traditions of snackies; cheese, crackers, soup, shrimp, smoked oysters and beer. After listening to Christmas carols and watching some TV I crawled up to bed.  Others lingered downstairs for a time.

 

My stomach felt bloated as I lay upon my bed.  Food like that tastes wonderful going down but turns into a rock as the hours pass. This morning I opted not to cook waffles instead going for cereal.  Washing down the cereal with some coffee quieted my stomach.  Working outside made my body feel better in general.

 

If I were to guess, my thought is that my sons will be up at just about noon.  The days of rabid excitement for Christmas morning have long since passed.  However, they will be giddy as they rip into the stuff they have received.  Me and Amazon worked our collective fingers off amassing the piles beneath the tree.  I note that there is very little in the way of frivolity nestled there beneath the boughs.  Coats and socks and a stocking with candies, these are the gifts of 2020.  Experiential things are missing.  Things like movie passes and pictures of places where we will be traveling are absent. We will be long into 2020 before experiences as a gift will be a meaningful possibility.

 

No great things to say today.  The key will be to just experience Christmas with some joy. We all need to try to muster it up. Live your traditions as best you can.  Remember the bottom line of what Christmas is about, the celebration of the birth of a man who according to Saint Paul conveyed perfect patience. This is the day when we raise our voices in song to honor the man who said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” The world is hurting so let us show compassionate patience and overwhelming love for our neighbors.

Have Faith

18 December 2020

Faith.  Being only five letters long, faith is a relatively small word in the English language.  Faith’s definition isn’t that complex.  Faith, according to a smart lookup in Word is, “… derived from the Latin fides, meaning confidence or trust in a person, thing, or concept.” Trust is also a short word and again the smart lookup is not overly complicated, “...the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something.” Faith can also mean a religion or a series of spiritual or ethical constructs.  This of course draws from the requirement that one who adheres to a Faith trusts or relies on the constructs of the particular doctrine espoused.

 

For millennia in western civilization the drawing of fall into winter has been a heightened time of faith.  The Romans, the pagans, the Christians and others have seen the time around the winter solstice as a time for a focus on faith. Be it riotous debauchery or the quiet contemplation of a plan of spiritual salvation, the opening of the door to cold winter has been marked with rites of faith. Standing in a darkened church on December 24^thholding up a small lit wax candle singing the words, “Sleep in heavenly peace,” is one way to calm a troubled soul and heighten a sense of faith.

 

Faith seems hard to come by in the waning days of 2020.  If you are one of the 74, 000,000 people who voted for Donald Trump, and who has listened to his narrative of claimed misdeeds by the opposition, you have little faith in the integrity of the electoral process. If you are one of the members of the families of the 300,000 souls who have lost their life to Covid-19 you have lost faith in both government and medicine.  Having lost jobs and savings as a result of the varied attempts to corral the contagion you may have even lost faith in the holy or the divine if you prefer that term. Locked down and in isolation so many have lost faith in the integrity and resilience of our institutions and systems from education to food production and delivery.

 

Don’t lose faith for we need faith.  We need to trust and rely on something.  Having faith aids us in living with confidence, in living with meaning.  Living with faith can strip away unnecessary fear and hesitation in the conduct of our affairs. A strong faith can provide a balm to our anxieties. Whether you are a secular humanist or a devout Catholic a faith in something better, a faith in the possibility of a tomorrow with less pain and fewer struggles, can lift us up into a special place where hope lightens our load.

 

We do have reasons for faith.  The acts of good people in our society give us something to trust in, something to rely on.  There are clearly good people among us. We have doctors and nurses who are working around the clock to minister to the grievously ill. We have specialists in logistics who are working busily in getting the vaccines out to us as quickly and efficiently as is possible. We have neighbors who are helping coordinate grocery shopping for those in high-risk groups so that the old and the immunity compromised have as little potential exposure to the virus as possible. From the fevered work of scientists and clinicians there are at least two vaccines with 94% or better effectiveness against the coronavirus. We have mental health specialists that are ready, willing and able to assist those suffering with isolation, depression and anxiety.  We have pastors and pastoral assistants willing to aid those who need something beyond this world to believe in.

 

As winter sets in here in the northern hemisphere we have many reasons to have faith in something better coming soon. Take a moment to stop doom scrolling and look at the positive things present in the world right now.  You may have to lift you face away from the screens to look and see the actions of your neighbors and people in your community working for the betterment of all. If you are on your screens the stories showing what good there is to believe in will not be on the front page so dig deep for it. If the menorah or the cross or the garlands of holly and laurel give you a lighter heart than embrace those symbols.  Have faith my friends things will get better. Have faith my friends that we can and we will make it through this.

 

 

A Dusting of Powder Before Christmas

Demento Claus 

One week’s time and it will be Christmas Eve. This will mark the end of years of Christmas Eve tradition, we will not be going to the chapel to light candles as we have done every year since John Lee and Loren were born. Pandemic. ‘Nuff said.

 

I may try to get Loren to record an acapella take on one of the Christmas carols. If he does, I will post it.  So much of what is the Christmas experience is not happening.  Still, we are trying to make it seem like it should.  We cut down a tree.  It got decorated.  Gifts have been bought.  All hail Amazon. Some gifts have been mailed.

Dashed to the U.S. Post Office this morning at 8:25 AM.  The windows open at 8:30. I was first in line and there was nobody else in the lobby.  Mask on I went inside and got six packages off.  Whereas in years past the clerk would give some estimate on when the Priority Mail© packages would arrive there was no hint of such a date today.  Having heard how completely befouled the delivery system is based on the “improvements in efficiency” rolled out this fall, I didn’t bother to follow up and ask. 

 

The one aspect of Christmas that is much more noticeable in my neighborhood is the presence of lights on houses that never had lights before, and an amped up presence of illumination on people who usually offered Christmas displays.  Early on I heard rumors of a Christmas decoration shortage.  On dingy Saturday I went checking on decorations on Amazon, Costco, Sam’s and Home Depot.  Sure enough, unless you wanted fuggly overpriced Simpson’s nativity scenes the pickings were really very, very slim.

 

I get it.  In a world where so little of what is occurring is under our control making sure that at least one aspect of our normal Christmas shines is really important.  Going Clark Griswold big on the outside lights is a way of saying clearly and emphatically I am celebrating Christmas well and ups yours Covid-19.  Hey, I went for festive banners that now hang outside the front door to show I am celebrating Christmas well.

Last night as my family and friends on the east coast of America were getting pounding by a miserable storm with feet of snow and nasty ice, we got a mild dusting of light white powder.  Our snow did what a first snow is supposed to do, it covered the imperfections of a grey and brown world. Our snow was gentle and wispy and danced in circles as it came down. Our snow created a landscape that said Christmas is almost here so lift up your hearts.

 

One closing comment is this.  Cards. With people at home, it seems they are digging out the cards, the stamps and the pens to craft Christmas messages. I am going to try and respond to each one I receive.  Not so big on creating cards in the past few years but I will try.

And for this piece's musical coda I offer something that is off the beaten track.  It is lovely though.

Light and Silence

2 December 2020

 

Gorgeous day today.  Sunlight pouring down and not a cloud to be seen.  Enough of a breeze the keep the air clean as it blows from west to east.  The fires that mottled the color of the sky this summer have subsided and are having no impact on the beauty of this day.  Sunlight, warm sunlight makes this early December day quite tolerable.

 

I picked up one of Thomas Merton’s books today.  It is called No Man is an Island.  Have had this trade paperback copy for at least 35 years.  The pages that were read at my wedding are underlined and still have Post-it notes marking the relevant sections.  

 

As I flipped through the volume looking for something to inspire my day, I came to a passage that talked about the noise we make on a day-to-day basis. Merton believed too much noise, noise like our society’s endless commentary on things and our personally propounded propositions injected into the common discourse, take the edge off our experience of reality. He believed that the constant noise level civilization imposes on our lives blurs the truths of life. Merton says, “There must be a time of day when the man who speak falls very silent.  And his mind forms no more propositions, and he asks himself: did they have a meaning?”

 

A sunny day walk with no headphones on, and no direction or path in mind as one sets out can bring a soul to that empty place where all that exists is the reality of nature. The natural world is one of the Divine’s most beautiful gift to humanity. A walk can center us in nature. Like walking a labyrinth, when we ramble without direction, we can set aside the hurts, the desires and the to do lists that clutter our mind.  We can get empty.  When we get empty of the noise, we get open to the possibilities and the realities of our lives.

The Season of Light

 

1 December 2020

 Each year around this time I pull out a small volume from the bookshelf in my bedroom.  The book is called, Season of Light. The book is a series of short essays on, or at least peripherally related to, the season of Advent.  This tome is one of three or four books I regularly go back to over the course of the year, the others being works by Thomas Merton a hermit monk and the other by Simon Blackburn a devoutly atheistic philosopher. My reading, much like my soul, is a jumble at this time of year.

 

I will pick a couple of the writings contained in Season, and there is a writing for each day of advent, and read them. There are theological essays, possibly apocryphal stories and personal remembrances. But what I find most compelling are the essays that call us to individual action. These writings focus on us as messengers of hope, compassion and love. Living here in the north country with a fire in the Franklin stove, a cat under the tree and some coffee in hand I find the writers’ various urging for us to bridge divides and live love quite compelling.

 

There is a song that captures my feeling about this season.  It was written by the son of a Jewish mobster and an aboriginal woman.  The key lyrics go…

 

 

A shepherd on the hillside, over my flock I bide

On a cold winter night, a band of Angels sing

In a dream I heard a voice say, "Fear not, come rejoice

It's the end of the beginning, praise the new born King"

 

How a little baby boy could bring the people so much joy.

Son of a carpenter, Mary carried the light.

This must be Christmas, must be tonight.

 

Robbie Robertson- Christmas Must Be Tonight.

 

The promise of hope, the promise of peace, both captured in the Christmas story, are promises we all wish for on some level.  You could say we want other things, material things, relational things, but aren’t they all just parts of a puzzle we are trying to cobble together to bring some form of a peaceful joy to our soul?

 

I don’t worry about the war on Christmas.  Christmas has long been secular in America, divorced for most people from the arc of the story that runs from the manger to a horrific Roman execution to a heavenly ascension. Did it happen, that is something to be found in individual hearts because the historical record will never be clear. But the hopes and desires of men and women for forgiving love and balm upon our wounds and fellowship and friendship are universal. Each of us can carry a little bit of the light by listening more, loving more and overlooking the small stuff.

 

Over the next few weeks, it will be ancient music for me coupled with hot cocoa as I watch the lights on our Christmas tree.  2020 was not the year I wanted.  2020 was not the year any of us needed.  But with compassion in our hearts, we can reach out and make the holiday season better for ourselves and others. Peace.