On the Joy of Owning Freedom

Yesterday Portugal celebrated the revolution that freed its people from authoritarian rule 50 years ago. In the morning I headed down at about 10:00 to Praça do Comércio. The pomp and pageantry of formal military services had ended. The parade of 50-year-old armored vehicles was just then setting off. 

The armored vehicles and troop transports carried some of the soldiers who 50 years ago originally made the same now historic journey. The army green hardware headed up through the city to what in 1974 was the main headquarters of the Lisbon military police, the National Republican Guard, at Largo do Carmo. This is where the authoritarian government’s rule started to crumble that day.

As the vehicles wound their way up through the city streets thousands of people followed behind them. Heroes of the revolution sat atop these old vehicles, people my age and older, and received repeated rousing cheers. Carnations were everywhere. Many people held just one carnation but others held bouquets of the red flowers and raised them as the tank and troop trucks rolled by. The aging men in the old military vehicles broke down in tears at times from the loving reception they received from the crowds.

 In 1974 the people and the military of Portugal had suffered enough at the hands of the PIDE (Polícia Internacional e de Defesa do Estado). Disappearances, prison sentences that were death sentences, exile, neighbors spying on neighbors and censorship were part of day-to-day life. Hunger and other deprivations were part of many people’s existence. Then on April 25th even the military could no longer tolerate it. They took action.

Despite pleas for people to stay home the streets were flooded with people as the coup hour went on. Carnations were in ample supply at the city’s flower market in 1974. They quickly were handed out and were everywhere including in the barrels of soldiers' guns as the day wore on. Red carnations became the symbol of change, of freedom. The events of that day became known as the Carnation Revolution.

Later in the day yesterday I headed down to the parade on Avenida da Liberdade. Reuters says it was tens of thousands of people cramming the streets. However, I have been to large concerts like Live Aid and I would suggest the crowd all told was well over 100,000 celebrating this 50 anos since the Carnation Revolution.  

As I stood there watching the joy and celebration I wondered when did America lose its focus on celebrating the 4th of July? When did it move from celebrating the concepts embodied in the Declaration of Independence to simply grabbing a day off with beers, boats and burgers?

There is still a generation here that has lived through torture and the disappearance of loved ones. Freedom is not accepted as a given. They know it can be taken away. People here know what happens when one person decides who lives and who dies, who prospers and who suffers. It was awe-inspiring to see the celebration's joy. 

On the same day the Portuguese celebrated their freedom from fascism, the following exchange took place in an American court room.

 SCOTUS Justice Sonia Sotomayor: “If the president ... orders someone to assassinate [a rival], is that within his official acts for which he can get immunity?”

 Trump attorney D. John Sauer: “It would depend on the hypothetical, but we can see that could well be an official act.”

 Maybe things like this are why the American 4th of July celebration is more about bread and circuses and less about freedom.

68 Hoping for 69

On Saturday, as this is posted, I will turn 68. Honestly I am nervous. To some extent I am frightened. My middle brother died two weeks after his 69th birthday. My father died at 72, two months before his 73 birthday. My oldest brother passed away 6 months after his 72nd birthday. 68 to 72 is not very long. On the other hand, my sister has survived much longer than my family's men. And my grandmothers and my mother lived into their eighties and nineties. So, who knows what my potential shelf life is? Do I feel nervous about my birthday? Heck yes. But who knows how long our shelf lives will last?

 

Lying in bed, I often wonder, what have I done with the precious life I've been given? Have I lived the right life? Have I lived the best life? The most helpful idea I can come up with is that I have had a life better than some and a poorer life than others. Doing the jobs I have done, jobs that have mostly involved people in trouble, maybe through my actions I have created a positive ripple in some person’s life. Maybe by creating that ripple I have improved the lives of others they were involved with.

 

Truth be told, I am not entirely at peace. Someone suggested to me that I am living my bliss here in Portugal. There is no bliss for me in Portugal or anywhere else. Instead, there is this. I am here in the moment and experience my now with equanimity, non-judgement and acceptance. 

 

For all my plans, desires and hopes I have ended up so far away from the place I thought I would be at this stage of life. Truly the path my existence has taken surprises me. And that is not bad. To be sure I think the route I have walked has surprised quite a number of others too. 

 

 If you view me as an old car the following are true. The tires are leaking air, the body is rusty, the engine has a timing problem and the radiator is running hot. Nonetheless I am still on the road. The scenery I pass (and have passed) is pretty and the stops along the way are mostly pleasant. Even if they weren’t I must accept that this route is what it has always been meant to be. I am here and I am now and this is what has been given to me. I try to find contentment in the journey itself.

 

Though I have regrets, I push them aside to focus on the here and now. If I didn’t I would not sleep at night. As for those few major regrets I have, there is nothing I can do about them. You can't change the past. You can only live with it. Any amends should have been made long ago. Many can no longer be made because the people involved are dying off or are so far away I cannot reasonably reach out to them. For some people, hearing from me would cause pain and that would serve no purpose for either of us. Acceptance. I have lived what I have lived and done what I have done. Hopefully, my behaviors have improved over the years.

 

Right now, my life needs to be both expansive and intimate at the same time. For me, material possessions are losing importance and meaning. Many memories also have little or no resonance. On the other hand, I find joy and wonder when I ride down to the River Tejo on a sunny day. My smile widens when I hear a dog barking in rhythm with the percussive sounds of a drum circle by the river. As I enter this moment, I am given the opportunity to live, but I am not blissful. Instead, I accept life in all its glory and failures.

 

For those of you significantly younger than me I say this. And I say it although I know you won't believe me. God knows I didn't believe my father and a hundred other people who told me the same thing when I was young. Take some time friends, and think about what to do next. Try to make wise and reasoned choices, and choices that are beneficial and not cruel to yourself or anyone else. You will be where I am sooner than you might expect.