After the Turkey Wears Off

Christmas Pedricktown, NJ circa 1959

Foggy thick mists, the light filtering down is grey and pink. The air is thicker and warmer than it should be. I have tried to ignore the arrival of the day since roughly 0530. But the gluttony of yesterday (and the day before) set my stomach against me. Damp and cramped neither sheet on nor sheet off comforted me. Awake but trying to be still I scanned what others in different time zones had done and were doing. What I saw didn’t move me nor bore me enough to drop my eyelids. So, I got up. The tea is on.

 

In addition, the first coffee pot is brewing. The second pot, the decaf, will be available soon. Last night’s dishes are running in the dishwasher. Time slips by so fast when routines like those set out before are allowed to become the “all” of the day. The way I am gathering my thoughts at the keyboard now hopefully will alter the route this end-of-week day may take. I have yet to read the news. I am not sure if I should or will. News of jets playing chicken and troops in movement filled the tabloids at yesterday's end.

 

In bed and hoping for sleep last night I thought about Christmas. From here it is 26 days until the celebration. Not a thing I want. I might like some tech things but I don’t need them. My kids don’t need much from me at this point save emotional support. In any case, I will try to find something small that will amuse or delight them. No at this stage there is nothing I want that would make one whit of a difference in the coming year or in the years to come.

What may have triggered my reflective mood is a two-pronged series of events. The first was a Thanksgiving gathering staged here on the ‘not America’ Iberian Peninsula. In total we had 17 guests over and did American things and ate American foods. Chilled jellied cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and brown gravy, turkey stuffing and green bean casserole. I doubt an actual American Thanksgiving group would blow through as much wine as we did and touch nary a drop of the hard liquor I laid in for the occasion, but life is different here.

Getting together with a tribe of people looking for something different in life than what has always been their lives makes one think about what is of value. Makes one think about what I need to carry with me on the short road ahead. With full bellies and a bit of buzz on the conversation was warm and laughter came easily. If I am really considering what I need for the years ahead, laughter and conversation are what I require.

The second event that led me down the road of what do I need was a decision to open up an old hard drive. Turns out I had stored decades worth of photos on that hard drive. Two photos cropped up. One was of my oldest son in a goofy outfit he had thrown together including star-shaped sunglasses. When I consider the deeply serious man he has grown into the frivolity of that moment reminds me that a moment is just that one moment. We cannot fix it to make the emotions and joys last forever. Thus, we need to be present in what we are experiencing now

Another photo showed my youngest son standing on a balcony at the Jersey shore with his back to the sunset. His eyes twinkled in so much happiness at being at the water’s edge. Again he is such a different person now than he was then. I wish I could have captured the delightful spirit of that moment to sprinkle a small amount of it on him when his times grow rough. But I couldn’t and I can't. 

And no manufactured thing can give me true and real happiness. Thus, I need nothing this holiday except to be present and to find, carve out, share the joy that exists all around me.