Should Have Been Tax Day in Normal Times

15 April 2020

Today, Wednesday 15 April 2020. This Wednesday in April should have been Tax Day in normal times.  These are not normal times are they, eh?  Days like today, and all the days since early March 2020, have been anything but normal.

Snow does not usually accumulate on 15 April.  Usually and normal are not synonymous.  Snow on 1 April would not be a surprise, but each day thereafter raises the likelihood that snow is over. The chance snow is done increases by percentage points on each day in April.  So, seeing a light dusting of snow today, on what would normally be Tax Day, was an unwelcome surprise. It was not expected so it was a shock, but it does happen occasion. What came out of mouth when I saw the snow was not an “ooh” or an “ah” but rather was a doubled worded profanity. The daytime temperature will be warm enough that by 11 am the snow should be gone.

The possibility of snow in April is one of those uncertainties that you just have to accept if you are going to live in the upper Midwest in America.  Living with uncertainty is not something we Americans do a very good job at.  We crave things that proceed in steps.  We want orderly progressions like going from grade school to middle school to high school.  We also want metrics to allow up know where we are in the path we are following, thus report cards and employee evaluations. Uncertainty drives us nuts and sends us wildly circling like a cat chasing its tail.

Every aspect of the coronavirus pandemic has had, and will continue to have, tons of uncertainty.  From the genesis of the virus to the date when we can return to a “normal” life, the facts and realities are unclear.  For people who do not like chaos the lack of clarity on these questions is frustrating in the extreme.  The result of this is bubbling over in all aspects of our limited lives right now.  

Congresspersons are arguing back and forth about the date that America should “reopen” and what metrics should be used to set that date.  Typical Americans are arguing on Facebook and other social media sites as to what is an essential job, or service, or shopping activity. The debate is heated and is increasingly coming down along party lines. 

There are the folks asserting the virus escaped from a Chinese lab.  So far, the scientific community is not backing this theory.  Aligned with them are the “let the old die for the economy” crowd. On the other side are those who insist we must listen to the scientists group and we must make our decisions based on empirical data collected from testing and monitoring group. I don’t think any of us can say we believe the government has handled the testing part particularly well.

Me, I fall into the pandemic is a science problem first and a political problem second group.  Given I will turn 64 in less than a week, I am not in the let the old die to save our economy group.  I also fall into the group that is willing to accept that at this point on 15 April 2020, a great many questions must to be answered with “I don’t know”. This ambiguous answer is the only answer on questions from where the virus started to will there ever be herd immunity to the novel coronavirus to when will it be safe to reopen businesses.

Not knowing is driving us crazy.  I use a newsfeed populated two thirds aby middle of the road papers and liberal papers and one third by conservative sites. My God the cry of heated voices on all sides is just insane.  I would deactivate my Facebook account except for the fact that I enjoy birthday greetings and well my birthday is coming up. 420 and Jay, easy to remember, right?

Life is chaos.  Life is change.  We try and generate paths that are predictable.  But God (or nature) does not think humans have a claim of right to a knowable life path. We have to accept that it will take time to ritualize the new normal caused by the coronavirus.  We will be inconvenienced and hurt but the rushed plans put into place by various states to stem the increase in coronavirus cases have been undertaken in good faith.  I am sorry you can’t buy tomato plants just yet, but I don’t want to die for your heirlooms.

The Buddhists are right in their teaching on acceptance and non judgement as it relates to how we tackle the coronavirus.  We can’t be angry over something we have not control over such anger will serve no purpose. Accept that fallible people are trying to do the best they can in their efforts to address this new and unique situation. Take a breath and cut everybody some slack be in media postings or just in going about day to day living.

Why can’t we just hit the reset button and start again on 1 January 2020? Oh, time has only one direction you say.

Stormy Monday

13 April 2020

Day whatever of the plague.  I haven’t written in a few days.  Mostly my lack of output is because my shoulder is bugging me.  I can sleep on it, and I can walk with it.  But bending over it hurts.  One cannot type without some bent posture. Thus, typing up a journal entry is problematic. Unless this gets much, much worse I am not going close to any heath care facility. The trade off between being exposed to the virus versus getting some pain comfort is one I am not willing to make.

Even isolated life keeps happening and time keeps passing. The weekend involved another trip to pick up groceries at a time I would normally be in Church. Easter happened.  A wind storm happened, or rather should I say, is still happening. Outside the manifestations of time that the calendar imposes, i.e., Easter or those given by a unique spate of weather or budding flowers, I am not really finding a demarcation between one day and the next. 

Each morning I try to force myself to at least immerse myself in news and commentary.  Mostly when I start diving in my mind fogs up and my eyes glaze over.  Lacking someone coming up with a vaccine, I don’t see life changing for me for quite some time.  When I watch Trump, and his behavior’s I just end up shaking my head. I won’t dwell at length on this. Trump and his ilk are the reason scientists are such lonesome people

I have shifted from typing to dictating this on my phone. Just really can’t sit in the hunched over position very long. Outside the wind is kicking up more and more. l am prone on the bed next to the cat and I will occasionally scratch her ears. When a strong gust of wind blows for three or four or five seconds, she raises her head up, looks at the open window and chirps. The heating pad is toasting my right shoulder. Heat feels good.

Rolling Stone published an article entitled the last days of John Prine. A friend of mine posted the link on his Facebook feed, very nice piece. For those of us who followed Prine's career throughout the years, the fact that his last album was such a success is gratifying. Pretty much everybody I know has a favorite John Prine song and a story that explains why it’s their favorite song.

Oh well, I am done with writing for the day.  I heard the following lyric in a Dar Williams song, “Does my life have a destiny or just a destination?” Good question. With that in mind it is time to head off to Hazel's House.

Friday…oh yeah, Good Friday

10 April 2020

Life in the pandemic has changed everything.  This is Holy Week.  This is like no Holy Week I have ever seen before.  Truth be told this week is not like any other week (except for the past four weeks) that I ever experienced before.

Normally, I would have been to church last night for Maundy Thursday service. A Maundy Thursday service at my house of worship is normally a celebration of the last supper with a full communion and the use of a common chalice. In these times sitting crowded together and then drinking from the same cup make absolutely no sense.  I am sure the Trinity is okay with this.  God didn’t give us free will to let us die simply because of following symbolic ritual. If you are a believer then Easter is in your heart whether you are in a church building or not.

In a normal year I would be at church tonight and then also on Sunday.  Tonight, would have been the Tenebrae service, or as it is described in the worship folder, a service of gathering darkness. This very solemn and austere service is one of my favorites of the year.  My understanding is that the service will be broadcast tonight starting at 7:30. Still, watching it online is not the same as sitting in the church with the candles and lights being extinguished over a span of about 45 minutes. There will be no Sunday service with all the bright robes and full choir.  Again, I don’t believe in a magic Jesus that will be pissed because I opted for social distancing. That whole ‘Do unto others…’ thing, I think that covers not giving or receiving the coronavirus by being packed into a church with Chreasters (those who only show up for Christmas and Easter).

So many things have changed. The closure of the physical structures of church communities is only one aspect of the huge shifts in our societal behavior.  This afternoon I expect there will be a delivery of dry groceries by UPS.  Also, this afternoon I am expecting a delivery from the pharmacy of some medications.  I don’t remember the last time I experienced delivery service like this.  As best I can recall, it was back in the day when Nipe’s Dairy would deliver milk in Pedricktown.  I vaguely remember there might have been bread delivery also. 

What happens when the powers that be attempt to reopen this world?  Will we have become accustomed to delivery services?  Will having drugs and groceries dropped at the house become the new norm as we wait for the preparation for a vaccine? Will we retain habits of cooking at home thus decimating the hospitality industry?  What stores and restaurants will have folded before the all or partially clear signal is raised because they just didn’t have the resources to hold on?  How many people will fail to return to churches and other civic activities because they have become accustomed to not going? How will we approach travel going forward?  Will we have to be screened to see if we have a temperature on every trip segment before we enter an airplane?

And what about elections?  Will there be a national call for mail in balloting?  Will there be some addressing of the mechanics of elections nationwide, elections that don’t require face to face contact? I don’t know. What I do know is that the world will look different after this pandemic.  

I think after the pandemic we should be thinking about how we source our goods and products.  Should we ever be in a spot again where we do not have the capability to produce our own the medical equipment, personal protective equipment and supplies in a timely manner?  Should we ever be in a spot where we cannot rely on our own manufacturing capabilities to provide any essential services? 

What about how we treat people working in essential services like groceries, pharmacies, gas stations, farm fields and the list goes on.  How do we ensure the people picking our oranges and the people who are stocking are shelves are kept healthy?  As the pandemic wanes we will have to look at what worked in our health care system and what didn’t.  Then we will need to address the issues and fix the problems. 

I think, that for a time at least, after the pandemic there will be no going back to the normal that existed prior to January 2020.

For thoughts on past Easters follow this link,
https://onetruenorthspace.blogspot.com/2008/03/easter-memories-are-complicated.html

House Arrest Versus the 1-5% Chance of Death from the Coronavirus

9 April 2020

Just finished a walk.  Today is so very different from yesterday.  As I headed out yesterday the warmth of the weather was apparent everywhere. Daffodils and hyacinths abounded in blooming yellow and purple glory. A short sleeve shirt was all that I needed to be comfortable.

Truth be told it was 65F.  Most of my walk yesterday was in full sun.  I walked very sluggishly due to some drugs that were in my system.  Took me three separate walks of 20 minutes each to get the 30-minute exercise ring to complete on my Apple watch.  I did get all of the circles to close yesterday on the damn thing. I don’t care which one you use, Fitbit or Apple watch, use something to be a task master that will not allow you to sit in front of the TV as a total slug during these days of unplanned house arrest.

Today my experience was very different.  A front moved in last night.   The temperature is 20 degrees colder today than yesterday.  At 45F comfortably walking required a down vest and a fleece pullover.  Today, I did my 30 minutes of exercise in one walk.  The sky changed from sunny to totally grey in the course of thirty-two minutes.  By the time I arrived home were we being smacked by ice pellets. Got to love the great state of Michigan. Tap the video above to see what I mean by ice pellets.

My life these days is comparable to a very lenient house arrest.  I mostly stay inside my house and interact only with my family.  Occasionally I will do a Facetime call to somebody, just to see how they are and to keep the faith. Francie and I walk, and we walk a great deal. We will speak to people when we are out but we insist on doing that from the other side of the street’s right of way.  In essence we are using a forty-foot barrier between us and third parties.

I do dishes.  I do laundry.  I read online.  I binge watch TV. (Nota Bene:  If you have Apple TV plus watch Home Before Dark.) I don’t go to coffee shops.  I don’t go to church.  I don’t go into stores.  Yes, it is a very different life, it is a life under arrest.  However, balancing the short-term deprivations versus the risk from silent carriers of the coronavirus and the percentage of deaths in my age group should I get it, I CAN ABOSOLUTELY LIVE WITH THIS.

One trend I see emerging about governmental response to the outbreak is this. All over the world that is a very undemocratic response that seems to be evolving.  Hungary and the Philippines stand out as the worst-case scenarios.  However, we have some troubling things occurring here.  The Wisconsin election stands out as a case in point.  If you want to see a fairly detailed article on this, I would recommend the following link to the Politico article on the topic. https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2020/04/09/wisconsin-supreme-court-partisan-battleground-176292

Additionally, I would urge you to watch where the money goes from the second stimulus package.  Note that Trump is virtually refusing to allow any meaningful oversight of the monies to be expended.  He has sacked a well-respected Inspector General that had been chosen to act as the overseer of the disbursal and use of the funds. In times of mass crisis, it is important to have a central authority involved.  However, democracy requires that hand been monitored very closely, because freedoms die when one person is given too much power.  https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2020/04/09/trump-removes-inspectors-general-blatant-corruption-column/2973535001/

A short note on why there have been no posts recently.  On Monday I cleared scrub trees from around my backyard.  Using some big assed Whiskas loppers, I took out about 20 one-inch thick buck thorns.  Later that day and the next morning I chopped those up for use in the firepit at some point in the future.  Lots of little scrubby stuff for kindling was set off to the side.  I still have about half of it to deal with.

When I went to bed, I became painfully aware I had overdone it. I could not lie comfortably on my right shoulder in almost any position.  I tried Tylenol to deal with it, then asper crème, but neither brought relief. In the end I took some Flexeril and it sent me off to sleep.  I had to take some the next morning too. Flexeril messes me up.

When I take a muscle relaxant, I find that anything I type tends to be a lightening bolt thought that gets covered in mud when I try to capture it. Trust me I did stare at the screen for a number of minutes and had a hundred great thoughts. If I had put them down on paper, they would sound like the crazed ravings of a lunatic.  (I know most of what I write sounds like the crazed ravings of a lunatic.

I cried when I heard John Prine had died. 

Saturday Morning and the Rain has Come

4 April 2020

There's a fat man on the porch in the rain.  My apologies to Lowell George.

A woodpecker pounds away on a tree in the light rain.  This light rain has only been going on for about an hour, it is very light more than a mist-less than a drizzle.  Still the sound of the pounding of the avian with grub lust has been dulled.  No staccato sharp tap, tap, tap. What I hear now is a slower, less resonant echoey thud, thud, thud.  Have you ever listened to the second album Paul Simon did of world music? Rhythm of the Saints was the title, I think. Throughout the music on that CD there is a soft wood drum sound. The woodpecker is making that sound. Yeah, today the woodpecker could be the percussion for a soft atmospheric world music song.

Last night I had so many dreams.  I must have been in a very light sleep with all the REM activity going on.  Some disturbed me, some were just goofy amalgams of news stories and fantasies. Still, my sleep was light enough that some errant noise woke me almost bolt upright.  It sounded like a garbage can lid being dropped or a door slamming.  At five in the morning, on a Saturday morning, in a community where we have had frequent recent rummaging in vehicles inadvertently unlocked, I had to get up and see what was going on.

I dressed silently.  I carried my shoes and flashlight with me until I go to the steps to the ground floor.  I put my shoes on there, went downstairs and turned on the front stoop light.  Turning on the flashlight I scanned our car and saw nobody near it.  I stepped outside and checked to make sure the raccoons had not been attacking the garbage. Then, I traipsed around to the back porch and deck to make sure no mischief was afoot there. Nothing, whatever it was it was not happening in my domain.

After this little journey I decided I was not going back to sleep, not easily.  I turned on the decaffeinated coffee pot, grabbed my bowl of Meijer Wheat Squares and about 3 ounces of OJ.  I pulled up the Washington Post and read it mostly cover to cover. I was befuddled by the problems the CDC and the FDA had getting testing up and running.  The gridlock and missteps have probably cost America tens of thousands of lives. I was saddened by the sacking of the Navy aircraft carrier commander.  The rationale given for his sacking seems contrived.  I think outside of the Navy he will have a good career possibly as a politician. His actions imply he is someone who is willing to speak out and say what needs to be said.  His politics may not be mine, but the officer has backbone.

Birds trill, the rain makes a sound that is more patter than hard drop.  So much life is out here, just off my back porch.  I needed a break from being in the house so I have relocated out to my porch table and I have put a leather jacket on. 50F as I type but in my $10 real leather coat I am comfortable. The scent of rain cleaned air is a delight.  

…[I]t is Like a Play with No Good Ending

3 April 2020

A ghost looks back at me from the triple paned bay window as I type this.  His forehead is high and his skin pale.  Those eyes are set back deep and hollow. While I can see his moustache, I cannot see his mouth.  The specter floats out among the brown but greening trees of this twilight. The image reminds me of a soft song from a female singer with a high range singing in front of a drum and a guitar, they are both there, but just barely.  The brushes keep the time and the guitar floats soft and ethereal. 

Today was a day where things seemed kind of, sort of, normal. On a day like this you want to do the things you want to do. Midday there was a trip to the grocery store.  But the trip was not normal.  All the groceries had been ordered online about a week ago, not normal.  Someone brought the groceries to the car, not normal.  We opened and closed the trunk from inside the vehicle. Outside of yelling “Thank you”, we had no contact with the person who brought the groceries to our car. 

The sun was out and the air was warm and it felt good.  We opened up the sunroof just to feel that warmth on our skin.  Social isolation and well, Michigan, have almost turned us into mole people.  It felt good to see the familiar houses passing by on the road to and from the store.  I, of course, looked like a 19^th century train robber with a bandana tripled layered across my nose and mouth.  (Yes, the government has changed the rules-masks are urged for everyone with potential contact with others).

To feel like “I” had accomplished something, I dragged the various parts of the hammock out of the shed and into the back yard.  I assembled it and lay down and made a very silly video.  Why?  Well, because I can.  I have the time and I have no obligations to work from 8 to 5 any more.  When I told my wife this, I added this is not the retirement I had contemplated.  She looked at me sharply and said very gently, “This isn’t the anything that anyone was expecting.” Truth, harsh truth.

Sprawled out in the hammock, after the assembly was done, I could feel the warmth drawing me into sleep. Given it was midday, and given I did not want to get a sunburn, and then have to find the aloe…etc., I got up and went inside and put away the groceries.  From veggies to cake mixes all had been decontaminated as best my wife could do it, based on a lengthy post from a physician in Grand Rapids.

Usually, on the first Friday of all but the summer months, we get together in a bar downtown with our creative friends.  Screen-printers, printers, paper salesman, etc., we gather and quaff a few.  Not so in the plague year.  Today we Zoomed in and talked from our basement bunkers. It was fun, but was it what we wanted, no.  But we are too old for taking our chances in such a public venue. Too many hands abound, too many coughs and too many silent carriers. 

The sky has gone dark.  As I look out the bay window, I see that the specter is me.  Still, I hold to the stance that I am haunted.  In this plague year we are all haunted.

The Sad Feast of Fools

1 April 2020

Sixties rock band Traffic plays in the background.  “…eyes as sad and deep as you,” as I sit at the kitchen table crafting this. Right now, I am trying to get my head around the projected number of deaths from the coronavirus.  The projected mortality just keeps going up with each briefing.  Hundreds of thousands of Americans will die.  The anticipated minimum death toll will exceed the population of Lansing and East Lansing, Michigan combined. The reality of how desperate the situation is sinks in bit by bit or should I say stone by mighty stone? 

In reality I have been limiting my news consumption.  But I do listen NPR’s disease update each afternoon.  I do not listen to the (p)Resident’s briefings.  Put simply I don’t trust a word he says.  I am ambivalent about Brix and Fauci will be quoted extensively the next day. Advice keeps changing.  When I see articles in publications, they are now saying 10 feet is probably a better distance in practicing social distancing.  Apparently, the droplets can hang in the air a little longer than previously thought. Also, masks are probably appropriate for everyone going out.  The fact that this has been discussed amongst the top medical professionals in country for weeks now, but was not communicated to us because they wanted to keep the supplies available for hospitals, leaves me with befuddled. At best.

Enough of the grousing. Here is my big accomplishment of the day, I cleaned out the medicine cabinet.  I dispatched a box of Tavist-D with an expiration date of 2008.  Also, numerous bottles of Robetusen DM (sp?) with one teaspoon left (and with expiry dates more than five years ago) they went too. The 200 different hotel sized cream rinse bottles have left the building.  All the hotel soaps, those I kept.  I also kept the lotion bottles.  I am washing my hands quite frequently.  The hand lotion bottles may help some of drying of my skin.  

I finished reading John Irving’s Last Night in Twisted River. I would highly recommend this volume.  There are so many thematic elements and literary devices that I just loved.  Basic story, a cook in the Northwoods is involved in a bizarre accidental death and must run from a maniacally violent deputy sheriff for decades. There are so many vignettes of life that I have observed from a distance that it kept me engaged for all of its many, many pages. 

I hope this finds you all well.  Peace.  Faith.  Acceptance. Survival.