Bright, warm Saturday mornings are nothing short of a blessing. Me, on most Saturday mornings at 10 am I get together with some guys. Out on Duque de Avila about 40 of us gather at a padaria[1] for coffee drinks and Portuguese pastries. I like these folks.
Over espressos and galaos[2] we talk about anything and everything. Normally people talk about what they did before moving to Portugal. At most of these morning sessions probably half the table will talk about where they have just returned from or where they are traveling next. Others will talk about bureaucracy, for it is said there is no bureaucracy like the Portuguese bureaucracy. Obviously we talk about how troubled America seems to be. But we all try and keep it light and positive.
Our coffees are always lively. Laughter punctuates the air as stories and jokes are shared. Jokes may not be the right word. Humorous stories or anecdotes from our lives are recounted. And we all have those WTF was he thinking tales. The scent of freshly baked pastries mingles with the rich aroma of coffee. Under the umbrellas out of the sun on a weekend day, it's a good place to be.
Our coffees provide a sense of community and belonging. I personally think these wide-ranging conversations provide a valuable support network for all involved. They allow us to share experiences, navigate the challenges of living abroad,and share who is the doctor to see for what and what hospital they work at. It is a time to celebrate our lives and the choices we have made. This includes the one we made when we moved to the Iberian peninsula. In many ways, Saturday mornings are a vital part of our social lives. We are friends.
One recent Saturday morning coffeetime conversation focused on the struggle between a desire to write and the interruptions that travel and social events had on one individual’s process. All the guys listened and made suggestions. However, it was clear that the writer’s frustration was not solved by this informal group therapy session. The writer was certain that only he could come up with his own viable solution.
Was this depression? I don’t think so. Listening to the tone and tenor of the conversation the speaker was simply feeling aggravation and frustration, cousins of depression, but not actual depression. I think he will eventually be able to figure out the balance he needs between his craft and his daily routine. But for another person this conversation might have been a statement showing the tip of the iceberg that is depression.
The world gets colder as we grow older, or so it seems. It is sad really. According to WebMD, 1/3rd of retirees suffer from depression. Another source, an NIH publication from 2022, pegs the number of retired individuals with depression at about 28%. So, depending on your source for information, somewhere between 1/4 and 1/3rd of those people who have aged out and left the work force suffer various levels of depression.
It is clear to me and the doctors and researchers generating this data know that it isn’t simply separation from work that causes post-retirement depression. If only 30% of your heart is working, or if you are in stage III of some cancer, you got other things to be depressed about, existential things. Thinking hard about this I looked at a couple of sources talking about retirement and its correlation with depression. I grabbed a paragraph from an NIH article abstract and ran it through an AI grammar checker. This easily understandable statement got regurgitated.
Retirement almost always involves major changes in social roles and social networks. At the same time, changes are occurring to tangible assets like income and health insurance. These changes all impact the risk and management of depression. Addressing late-life depression is challenging. Often older adults with depression have co-occurring medical problems which complicate both the appropriate diagnosis and apt pharmacologic treatment.[3]
Health care providers know strategies to fight depression in retirees. By reading something like an AARP tabloid paper or clicking on a newsfeed item with the keywords retiree health, you will see the list of action items. These strategies include engaging in regular physical activity, participating in social and community groups, and practicing mindfulness or cognitive-behavioral therapy.
In most cases, a paragraph below the one containing the above suggestions will provide additional tips. Retired people are urged to develop hobbies and interests to provide purpose. The final lines in the article will reference establishing a consistent routine and maintaining strong social connections. This is because “experts” find these are critical components of supporting emotional well-being.
One of the things we discussed on Saturday is the wall retirees hit when “the checklist” is done. Coming to Portugal we all had checklists. There were the basics, easy to state but challenging to accomplish like obtaining a visa to enter the country and then applying for a residency permit. To accomplish these, we all needed residential leases or purchased apartments. Then there were things like bus passes and medical cards. When you get a place you have to furnish it too. Yeah, all these things were on the checklists and kept us busy. Note that even if you remain at the place where you were upon retirement you most likely have a checklist. It usually involves updating the will, fixing the back porch roof, weeding what used to be the garden, etc. And yes that checklist will also come to completion.
A year may pass. Maybe it will take eighteen months. Completing the lists will probably not take more than two years. But there will always come a day when the checklists are ticked off. Then what? At that moment you face the massive wall of what’s next. At that point where you are headed and what you do next become acute questions.
I retired in January 2020 just before the world stopped and took a two-year breather. I spent two years like everyonetrying to stay alive. I ordered tons of supplies online. Got groceries delivered to my car trunk. Took gallons of paint and redid my living room. Yup I had a I am stuck here in the middle of America checklist developed in the early months of the pandemic. But prior to retiring I created the “Let Us Move to Portugal” checklist. While 85% of what I did during the pandemic was stuff around the house, I kept plugging away at the Portugal checklist.
***
[Two days have passed.]
Going to be hot today. According to my phone it will hit 85 F. Thing is I can handle a dry 85 but the humidity is way, way up there. In order to get my exercise in I decided to take a walk early. Covered 1 .3 miles at 3 mph and I got a little glow going. Yeah, yeah I hear the snickering out there. A half hour walk ain’t nothing I hear you thinking. True. But…I do it almost every day. And I do it several times a day. By day’s end I will have racked up five miles and 12,000 or more steps. And yes I know 10k steps is an absurd and irrelevant number.
In a few minutes I will hang the laundry out to dry. When I came in from my walk the washing machine said there were13 minutes left to go. After that I will read a downloaded book on my iPad. Maybe later I'll watch a little TV, maybe binge a noir drama. No matter what, I will write. Oh yeah I will purge my email. Over the years I have accumulated way too many people who want my money. They all write to me for their causes almost every day.
Truth be told I struggled with how to end this piece. Although my checklist was done some while ago I am not depressed. Existential angst I have by the boatload, but depression I don't have. I can lay awake at night wondering if anything I have done has meaning and for that matter whether humanity and life itself have meaning. But in the morning I wake up looking forward to brewing coffee, taking a walk, writing, trying to come up with a trip somewhere that doesn’t break the bank. And then I get to say mean things on Facebook and watch the turmoil brewing over the election. And then I can check my news feed and be repulsed by all the shit going on in the world. And then I write to people and we talk about kids and life hacks and memories.
These things are enough for me. They keep darkness at bay. I am sorry that a large number of my fellow retirees are suffering. I really don’t know what will improve their lot but as long as I can walk, read and type I think the monster will stay away. If it gets really bad for me there is always macrame. Oh yeah my wife is somewhere painting rocks today.
[1] A business where pastries, cookies and coffee drinks are produced and sold. There is often outside seating available at tables all under broad umbrellas.
[2] A hot drink from Portugal made by adding foamed milk to espresso coffee. Similar to caffè latte or café au lait, it consists of one quarter coffee and three quarters foamed milk. It is served in a tall glass.
[3] Dang L, Ananthasubramaniam A, Mezuk B. Spotlight on the Challenges of Depression following Retirement and Opportunities for Interventions. Clin Interv Aging. 2022 Jul 7;17:1037-1056. doi: 10.2147/CIA.S336301. PMID: 35855744; PMCID: PMC9288177.
